"But what an extraordinary night! She felt somehow very like him—the young man who had killed himself. She felt glad that he had done it; thrown it away. The clock was striking. The leaden circles dissolved in the air. He made her feel the beauty; made her feel the fun." (186)
In this passage, Clarissa ruminates about Septimus's boldness in so freely throwing away what she deems most coveted—life itself. Up till this point, the inevitability of death has always produced emotions of anxiety, dread, and panic within her. She fears death because she believes she has no control over its undefeatable force. Thus, Septimus's willful suicide initially flabbergasts her. She considers the enormity of such a deed as she realizes that the only thing she has flung from her is "a shilling into the Serpentine, never anything more." Her thoughts lead her to believe that his suicide was a way to conquer death; he strove to place himself in power by treating death as inconsequential. In the end, Clarissa feels "very like him," because she can finally come to terms with the reality of giving up life.
In the midst of her contemplation, Clarissa notices the time. Once again, the resounding chimes of Big Ben remind her that one man's death doesn't end all. Life goes on, and the realization that the sun will still shine, that the birds will still chirp, that her memory will continue to resonate in the minds of her loved ones fills her with awe at the "beauty" and "fun" of time's continuity.
In this passage, Clarissa ruminates about Septimus's boldness in so freely throwing away what she deems most coveted—life itself. Up till this point, the inevitability of death has always produced emotions of anxiety, dread, and panic within her. She fears death because she believes she has no control over its undefeatable force. Thus, Septimus's willful suicide initially flabbergasts her. She considers the enormity of such a deed as she realizes that the only thing she has flung from her is "a shilling into the Serpentine, never anything more." Her thoughts lead her to believe that his suicide was a way to conquer death; he strove to place himself in power by treating death as inconsequential. In the end, Clarissa feels "very like him," because she can finally come to terms with the reality of giving up life.
In the midst of her contemplation, Clarissa notices the time. Once again, the resounding chimes of Big Ben remind her that one man's death doesn't end all. Life goes on, and the realization that the sun will still shine, that the birds will still chirp, that her memory will continue to resonate in the minds of her loved ones fills her with awe at the "beauty" and "fun" of time's continuity.
Hey Huda! This is such a beautiful post! You make some very nice connections and analyses, and they have helped me to understand the whole situation with the shilling and Clarissa's appalled response. Amazing work!
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